Dangerously Delicious
by Dr.Bones42
Summary: It all started with Lucy and Cobra are having a bad day. When they order a drink from Mira they don't expect what happens next. Especially with the mix up of the orders. Warning rated M for mild language content. DISCLAIMER: I do not own Fairy Tail. ON HIATUS
1. Smoothies and Matchmakers

Cobra stared angrily at the bar in front of him. His head pounding with the incessant thoughts of the brainless idiots surrounding him. The party the other night left most of them in heap on the floor. The other half he did not want to even think about.

Mira was making orders and cleaning glasses _and thinking about matchmaking_.Cana was in her normal spot drinking from a barrel and fiddling with her cards _while thinking about matchmaking_. Gajeel _thinking about Levi_ and Levi _thinking about books_ were in a corner surrounded by stacks of books. Laxus and the old geezer were in their offices which were sound proofed _._ The rest were on the floor pasted out or barely conscious.

All these stupid fairies need to stop there matchmaking schemes it is ridiculous. It isn't even Valentine's Day. I finally motion for Mira to come over and take my order. "Mira, get me a toxic smoothie."

I wait irritably for the only thing that could make this hell hole tolerable. The Demon Matchmaker could make decent drinks and meals that contain poison.

The old geezer comes out of his office and yells "Cobra I need to speak with you come to my office."

I get up and drag myself up the stairs. What now? I was just about to get my drink. The last thing I hear before the old geezers door closes is the guild doors being slammed open.

"What Geezer?" I ask irritated.

"I have a task for you."

"I don't got all day spill it." _I want to get back to my smoothie._


	2. Rent and Mistakes

Lucy was very irritated. The last mission should have been enough to cover her rent. But, Team Natsu happened. I kick the guild door open in my frustration. I saw most of the guild past out on the floor. _Looks like there was a party._ I head to my normal seat at the bar and plop down. _How am I supposed to pay my rent?_ I sigh.

"How was your mission?" Mira asks still bustling behind the counter.

"The mission went great we defeated the monster with no damage to the town but, on the way to the mayors' house to get the payment Natsu and Gray got into a fight. Then Erza tried to stop the argument which only made it worse. Long story short they destroyed the mayors house. We didn't get any of the reward.

I need rent money. I don't know what I am going to do." I finish ranting and then look at Mira.

"Why not go on a mission with someone else?" I would have thought about the idea if she didn't have that unholy _matchmaking_ gleam in her eye.

"No. I don't think that will work they would probably destroy something. I also can't go on a long mission." The glint in Mira's eyes died. She placed a smoothie to the left of me and turned around to make another drink.

"Well you could do a solo mission. I saw a mission for a week-long waitress job I think it would cover your rent."

I grab the smoothie and notice it's a brighter color than usual I shrugged it off as a new recipe. I sipped it and noticed it was bitter sweet like lemonade _but fruitier._

Maybe. Thanks for the suggestion I will probably take that." I reply

"Well anyways here's your-" she abruptly stops talking as she sees me drinking the smoothie.

"What's wrong Mira?" I ask confused.


	3. Anger and Bewilderment

Mira was looking at me like I was about to keel over and die any second.

"Mira?" The drink in her hand slipped from her hands and shattered on the floor. I look down at the wreckage and see the remains of another smoothie on the floor.

"Who else ordered a smoothie?" I wonder.

"Cobra ordered a smoothie" Mira says quietly and I look at her in bewilderment. Cobra. _T_ _he_ Cobra ordered a smoothie. I didn't know he liked sweet things.

"Really?" she nods and looks at the drink in my hands. "And your drinking it."

"Oh, sorry I…" As if on que the Masters door opens and Cobra comes out looking annoyed. _What died in his cereal this morning?_

"Mira! Where the hell is my drink?" Still frozen in her place she blinks staring at the smoothie in my grasp.

"I can smell it. Where is it? I swear if-" He stops mid-sentence and then stares in my direction at the half drank smoothie. Mira starts to stutter and I look at him sheepishly.

"Sorry. I mistook your drink for mine and drank some of it. You can have the rest." I say while holding the drink out to him. He stared at me intently eyebrow raised.

"How are you not dead Bright Eyes?" I look up at him from my seat confused.

"Why would I be dead? It is just a smoothie."


	4. Confusion and Mission Requests

I roll my eyes. How many people in this guild are just plain stupid. Put Poison Dragon Slayer and Food (or drink) together and what do you get. Hmm I don't know poisonous food.

"Never mind. Bright Eyes get your shit packed and let's go." I want to get this stupid mission done with as soon as possible. Mira looked like she was going to pass out and the whole guild was silent.

"What? Why would I need to get packed? Where are we going?" She asks incredulously.

She has some brains. "The old geezer gave us a mission. Let's go we are wasting daylight." She sighs, and I hear her soul: _I guess I don't need to take that waitressing job than… wait… he's a dragon slayer which means lots of damages. NOOOOOO I need rent money._ I scoff at her line of reasoning. Just because Matches cannot go one mission without destroying things doesn't mean all of us do.

"Hurry up already." She nods and stumbles out of her stool and runs towards her apartment to pack. Why do I even have to take Bright Eyes with me. I leave the guild just as all their minds start to work again the collecting shock and agitated babble stated to give me an even bigger headache.

The old geezer said it is because of the reward would benefit both of us but I have my doubts about that being his motive. I look at the flyer again.

 _Help Us PLEASE!_

 _We are surrounded by monsters that won't let us leave._

 _At least two wizards needed._

 _Reward: A flask of Inland Taipan Venom and two Celestial Spirit Keys_


End file.
